Whizz for Atomms: A guide to survival in the 20th century for felow pupils, their doting maters, pompous paters and any other who are interested (Molesworth)
Geoffrey Willans
Language: English
Pages: 52
ISBN: 2:00196880
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
With one mad yell the mob, armed with stumps and bits torn from desks, surge away down the pasage, trampling the masters under foot. A buket of water fall on GRIMES and the term end in a series of wizard rags and japes. Cars arrive, driven by parents with drawn, white faces.
Nigel Molesworth is dragging St. Custard's into the 20th century in the company of 'felow pupils, their doting maters, pompous paters and any others who are interested', via the Elizabethans and the Wild West. Most importantly, he has some important lessons in how to treat Girls, what to do with a tee-vee, what a holiday will really involve, and how to survive the uranium age that is sure to hit any time now. CAVE!
Illustrated by Ronald Searle
matronne. The same story.’ ‘SILENCE OR I WILL KANE THE LOT!’ Methinks his unatural benevolence is waring as thin as peason’s second-best pare of trousis. The mob is hushed by this thort. ‘Now see here,’ sa GRIMES, ‘see here, scum. We gives you edducation here, see? We gives you maners and disscipline, don’t we? Don’t forget them when you gets ’ome. Do not forget to sa “pardon” at some breach of etikette and tuck the old serviet into the colar firmly. Should egg be droped upon the tie remove
and catcalls. Finaly Nana do it.) T.V. Are you conected with seaweed? (Huge cheer) MATER: look at tibby the cat he canot stand gilbert harding..… ALL: Sssh. PATER: He’s a guggle-gouger..… (And so it go on. Supper is not cooked, fires go out, kettles boil their heads off, slates fall off the roof and house burn down, but we are all still looking at a nature film in w. africa chiz in fact we hav seen more monkeys since we got the t.v. than ever before xcept at st. custard’s where peason hav
coutenance of rare charm. REMARKS Received the sum of 5/– for writing above 1 HOW TO BE A YOUNG ELIZABETHAN No one kno wot to do about anything at the moment so they sa the future is in the hands of YOUTH i.e. some of the weeds you hav just seen. As if they kno wot to do about it at their age. All the same we are young elizabethans and it can’t be altered – i expect drake felt the same way. Supose we had lived then, eh? i wave my ickle pritty fairy wand, slosh peason with it and the
(Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England www.penguin.com First published by Max Parrish and Co. Ltd 1956 Published in Penguin Books 2009 Copyright © Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle, 1956 All rights reserved The moral right of the author has been asserted Except in the United States of America, this book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or
strike out word which do not aply discipline decorum honour sobriety musical apreciation We are all proud of that. i and the staff (he gives a contemptuous look over his shoulder at the sheepish colection of branes and louts behind him) hav laboured long and hard to preserve it. We have done our best to discourage gambling strike out words which do not aply tho sometime HEADMASTERS use all of them. poker drink smoking gurls Of corse this is only the beginning. It is not for this that