Back in the Jug Agane (Molesworth)
Geoffrey Willans
Language: English
Pages: 56
ISBN: 0006706207
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
I need hardly tell you the esential thing about a football i.e. nobody need tell me to get rid of it. i do not want it in the first place. Wot is the use of having a soaking wet piece of leather pushed at you? Give me a hadock every time, at least you can eat it.
Poor Nigel Molesworth is back at St Custard's, being snarled at by Grimes and forced to endure the good old footer season. But despite the distractions of hideous Molesworth 2 and weedy fotherington-tomas, he will still share all his secrets to passing exams and being a grown up. But what's this? A resolution to be good? And to luv gurls? Is this the end of the Nigel Molesworth known and loved by millions – or will he be bored by teatime?
Illustrated by Ronald Searle
himself it nearly drive molesworth 2 mad. ‘Last nite,’ armand sa, ‘i am having a beautiful dream.’ Wot can it be about? Hav he routed the beaks, stolen GRIMES the headmaster’s kane, pinched ye old matrone’s gin, placed a sukkessful booby trap on the door of the master’s common room. No, it is none of these things which would delite the heart of the healthy english boy. Armand hav dreamed of fresh pineaple, lobsters, duck, sweet, cheese, fruit, cream, three wines and a brandy. Well, i mean to
voices of the gurls. HANIBUL: (at length) gosh, wot a din it is somethink awful. How is the generalissimo toda? CAESAR: In a filthy bate. He hav been ever since he turned good and gave up smoking. He is not the molesworth who put 99 consekutive subjects in the ace. (A flourish of trumpets. Enter Generalissimo molesworth with an old coal bucket on his tawny locks. His breath is coming in short ha-ha hee-hee you hav guessed it and he is dressed in the same.) ALL: (acclaming) Ave, dux!
brekfast. MOLESWORTH 2: Yar boo and sucks molesworth 1 hav a face like a flea. ME: Et tu, weed, thrice over and no returns. (A kipper fly through the air). FATHEFUL NAN: NO little gentleman thro kippers, nigel. MOLESWORTH 1: Then i will thro korn flakes instead. Ha ha ha witty boy ha ha ha ect.… Aktually it is not me it is a weed called Shelley. i blush with shame at the memory of this unsavoury incident and let’s face it, my dears, it was only one of many. Would wee tim hav thrown a
eh?) such a one is Ermintrude you kno the one who likes boiled sweets better if they hav been dropped on the carpet. ermintrude hav not washed for several years oh wot a thing wot a thing. Also she hang upside down on the railings and shout ‘hi liberace’ as you pass chiz chiz chiz. The only thing is to ignore gurls like these and when she buzz a conker at you pretend the incident hav not hapened. Still, this is dificult when she also refer to molesworth 2 as ‘my bruther george.’ Such a one is
eh?) such a one is Ermintrude you kno the one who likes boiled sweets better if they hav been dropped on the carpet. ermintrude hav not washed for several years oh wot a thing wot a thing. Also she hang upside down on the railings and shout ‘hi liberace’ as you pass chiz chiz chiz. The only thing is to ignore gurls like these and when she buzz a conker at you pretend the incident hav not hapened. Still, this is dificult when she also refer to molesworth 2 as ‘my bruther george.’ Such a one is