White Girl Problems
Babe Walker
Language: English
Pages: 288
ISBN: 1401324541
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab-that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day. Hurdles such as:
- I hate my horse.
- Every job I've ever had is the worst job I've ever had.
- He's not a doctor, a lawyer, or a prince.
- I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic.
In an Adderall-induced flash of inspiration, Babe Walker has managed to create one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable memoirs in years.
session due to a double booking but GL had, with her, a list of things that BW wanted to go over with me during today’s session. I explained that I do not conduct treatment of my clients in that manner and sent GL on her way. As I am writing this, I have received a text message from BW that says, “Why did you reject me like that? I needed you today.” July 21, 2006 10 minutes after our session was scheduled to begin, a cell phone came crashing through my office window. I was shocked and
fitness DVDs. She and my dad must have really hit it off, because two years later, they’re still going strong. I first met Lizbeth in London, when my dad brought her with him to visit me while I was in school at Central Saint Martins. I was annoyed, to say the least, and didn’t really have much to say to her, so I spent their entire trip pretending she didn’t exist, which is super-fun to do to people. I’d written Lizbeth off as just another piece of the month, until I arrived back home from my
here because I spent $246,893.50 at Barneys during an afternoon of mental unclarity? What does he not understand? During our first session, Jackson told me I could trust him, and that recovery was about accepting help from others. Quick question: how am I supposed to trust a man who works at a rehab facility in Utah? Does he not realize how creepy that is? He talks to psychos 24/7. I’m not going to just open up to him all of a sudden, so he needs to give it up. He keeps telling me that I’m
represent for their fellow earthlings living in squalor? Help me help everyone. I can do it for eighty-seven thousand if I cut the beaded clutches.” “If you think I’m going to invest in a fashion start-up, you’re out of your bloody mind. I’d never see a return on my investment. And eighty-seven thousand dollars? For baby clothes? My God!” The fact that my dad foolishly passed on the opportunity didn’t stop me. I knew if I was going to see my vision come to fruition, I would have to take
complain, I understand that everyone cares and feels bad about enabling a completely helpless girl to the point that she had no choice but to send her own damn self to rehab, but after a month of talking about myself and hearing other people talk about me, I’m over it. Anyone would be. Before he left tonight, my dad wanted to talk to me about all the craziness that’d happened this morning, but I knew he was gonna start crying and I couldn’t go down that road with him again, so I tried to lock