The Book of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks: A Celebration of Creative Punctuation
Bethany Keeley
Language: English
Pages: 176
ISBN: 0811876454
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
From the sarcastic to the suggestive, here are quotation marks as we love them best, doing horrible damage to the English language. Who wouldn't have second thoughts about ordering the "hamburger" on the diner's menu? Would it be best to skip the "blowout" sale at the department store? What hidden price must be paid for something marked "free"? Assembled by the creator of the wildly popular "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks, this book surveys the havoc wreaked by quotation marks on signs, menus, placards, and posters that leave reality upended by supposed "facts." This smarty-pants guide is "perfect" for desperate grammarians, habitual air quoters, and anyone who appreciates a good laugh.
quotation marks can pop up where you least expect them: keep an eye out as you go about your day, shop, eat, work, drive, and, um, “do your business.” WHAT DO YOU NEED TO FIND AND INTERPRET THE CREATIVE USES OF QUOTATION MARKS? → safari vest with lots of pockets for your gear → some kind of helmet (for safety) → camera (one that also has video is best, in case you catch someone making finger quotes in their speech) → notebook for documenting and categorizing finds → tape
subscriptions,” then yes. They are here. Candy isn’t one of those things where freshness is really important, so some approximation of fresh is acceptable here. These strawberries are from the same continent we live on. They are “local.” Some stores prefer to use nonbinding numbers to set their hours and motivate customers. For example, the hours here are flexible. It depends on when the teenagers who are running the place get bored enough to either leave or fall asleep.
Fondling? Pinching? Those smiles sure do look “helpful.” When it comes to price negotiations, she doesn’t seem so ladylike. Look out for Freudian slips near this sign. Capt. “Ron’s” real name is probably a girl’s name. You’re never getting to the food and ale. NEVER! BWAHAHAHA! So just leave things on the floor, in other words. THE PARKING GARAGE, BASTION OF UNNECESSARY QUOTATION MARKS: You’re never going to “exit,” since the “elevator” is an empty shaft
“trash can” anymore? Please pantomime flushing the toilet. Oh, did we say toilets? We meant “receipts.” IN THIS PARTICULAR BATHROOM, ALL VERBS “ARE” IN QUOTATION MARKS: Tinkling and taking a leak, on the other hand, are totally acceptable. You can just imagine you’ve used them, if you like. Being a good “friend,” “neighbor,” “sibling,” “child,” “tenant,” and “acquaintance” is hard. Harder still is interpreting what the people in your life are trying to tell you at
want to keep track of your own findings and discoveries, too (see “Proper Quotation-Mark-Spotting Gear & Attire”). The pages that follow contain some basic categories of quotation mark use that will guide you through the rest of this book. USE: Quotation EXPLANATION: A very popular historical use for the quotation mark, a quotation is something somebody once said somewhere. For example, “I have a dream” is something Martin Luther King Jr. said once. Here’s a classic quote. Who said