How it Works: The Wife (Ladybirds for Grown-Ups)
Language: English
Pages: 56
ISBN: 0718183541
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
From bestselling authors Jason Hazeley and Joel Morris - a nugget of wisdom in the phenomenal Ladybirds for Grown Ups series. This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Also available: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
party. Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life. Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs. Neither is true. The best day of her life was her eighth birthday, when she got a yellow bike. Sasha likes baking because it is something for the children to do. Sasha’s children do not like fruit cake. Sasha’s husband does not like fruit cake. Luckily, it all gets eaten. Wives and husbands both
reads them on the train and throws them away before she gets to work. Samantha does not want the other wives at work to judge her as one of those wives who enjoys judging other wives. Laura’s sister is getting married this week-end at an exciting faraway location, and everyone is invited. Laura’s family now cannot afford to go on holiday this year. “This is worse than the hen do at the earth’s core,” thinks Laura. When a wife feels sad, she eats chocolate. Chocolate makes the wife happy.
But eating chocolate makes her worry about her weight and her skin, which makes her feel sad. Still, there’s always chocolate. Today, Celeste is looking after her nephew and nieces. She is not used to children in the house, and they do ask a lot of questions. She has had to open a bottle of emergency wine. “Only another eight hours to go,” thinks Celeste. Science has concluded that the average wife needs more and more cosmetic and hygiene products every year to function normally. Scientists
it is high time she and Mike faced up to a few things. Mike thinks high time is some years away yet. Rosie is a member of a fitness club. There she has tried crossfit, spin and ultra-ballet. Her �600 annual membership meant that each visit last year cost �200. Emma eats salad, because it is not fattening. This is also why she drinks wine instead of cream or gravy. Six months after having her first baby, Rosie is going back to work. Sadly, like half of all new parents, she is now worth
about it. Wives likes to talk. Phil’s wife Imogen had a furious go at him last night about how he avoids talking to her. Phil feels bad about this today, and is making it up to Imogen by mending the roof. After ten years of marriage, Kelly is trying some bedroom rôle-play with Ben. Ben is pretending to be a brave fireman. Kelly is pretending to be a woman who has set fire to her house. Sometimes marriage makes wives do things. Karen and Amanda have come to a get-together in the same