You're a Horrible Person, But I Like You: The Believer Book of Advice
Language: English
Pages: 224
ISBN: 0307475239
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
A compendium of advice from the producers, writers, and actors of The Office, Saturday Night Live, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Knocked Up, Flight of the Conchords, The Daily Show, Arrested Development, Reno 911!, and The Hangover along with other people who should really never give advice.
In these pages Fred Armisen offers help telling your dad you’re a lesbian—give him the phone number and he’ll do it for you. Mindy Kaling provides guidance on ending things with your mistress—dude, you totally have to kill her. Rainn Wilson offers insight on contacting that girl you dreamed about last night—he has created all-purpose web portal for such interactions. Amy Sedaris identifies the best way to a man’s heart—bone saw through the chest cavity.
Aziz Ansari, Judd Apatow, Fred Armisen, Maria Bamford, Todd Barry, Samantha Bee, Michael Ian Black, Andy Borowitz, Michael Cera, Vernon Chatman, Rob Corddry, David Cross, Larry Doyle, Paul Feig, Jim Gaffigan, Zach Galifianakis, Janeane Garofalo, Daniel Handler, Todd Hanson, Tim Heidecker, Ed Helms, Buck Henry, Mindy Kaling, John Lee, Thomas Lennon, Al Madrigal, Aasif Mandvi, Marc Maron, Adam McKay, Eugene Mirman, Morgan Murphy, Bob Odenkirk, John Oliver, Patton Oswalt, Martha Plimpton, Harold Ramis, Amy Sedaris, Michael Showalter, Sarah Silverman, Paul F. Tompkins, Sarah Vowell, David Wain, Eric Wareheim, Rainn Wilson, Lizz Winstead
thinking of when you lean your head against the wall. Put a sweater on when you get cold. Remind yourself, this is the night, because it is. You’re free to sing what you want as you walk there, the trees rustling spookily and certainly and quietly and inimitably. Whatever shoes you want, fuck it, you’re comfortable. Don’t trust anyone’s directions. Write what you might forget on the back of your hand, and slam down the cheap stuff and never mind the bad music from the window three floors up or
Judd: My son was just diagnosed with a wheat allergy. Does this mean he’s going to be rotten at competitive sports? Hand-wringing Father in St. Louis Dear Hand-wringing Father in St. Louis: Now, this is the type of question that only an egghead unfunny human can write. When looked at from every possible direction it is devoid of humor. It is also so unfunny that there’s no way for me to spin it funny, even if I comment on how unfunny it is. I don’t see how any of this promotes Funny People.
hates my guts? Giles Russo Durham, NC Dear Giles: You’ve got a lot of things going on here, on a lot of levels. Generally, when family is involved and there is so much unsaid, it is best just to come out with it abruptly and without provocation in the middle of a holiday dinner. It might even be good to offer to say a prayer before the meal and do a gratitude/confessional thing. The worst that can happen is that the meal turns into a mess of emotional chaos and everyone, for their own
remark? So you start seeing turtles like I do—as pawns in a cultural war. Morgan Murphy Dear Morgan: My boyfriend wants to go to Burning Man, but the last time he was there, he had sex with a man covered in silver body paint. He says it was just a onetime thing—how often do you get to fuck a silver man?—but I’m worried that it might happen again. Am I right to be concerned? Glenn Davenport, IA Dear Glenn: I hate to break it to you, but your boyfriend is gaaaaay. You two fellas have
sense. What are you really trying to ask me? I know. You want to ask me why my arms are so built. Na! Don’t be so shy. Go ahead and ask. It comes from rigorous weight lifting and weight training. Some push-ups, but mostly weights. Fred … Dear Fred: I recently received an e-mail from a female friend whom I’d been romantically involved with over the summer. Things ended badly, and the e-mail was an apology for her jealous behavior. Should I accept her apology? Andrew McIntyre Washington, DC