Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Language: English
Pages: 243
ISBN: 1439129436
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the widespread effects of this emotional abuse and create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.
Narcissistic mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave in accordance with maternal expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. They may also have a fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism or to self-sabotage and frustration. Dr. McBride’s step-by-step program will enable you to:
(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life
(2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into overachievement or self-sabotage
(3) Construct a personalized program to take control of your life and enhance your sense of self, establishing healthy boundaries with your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse
Warm and sympathetic, Dr. McBride brings a profound level of authority to Will I Ever Be Good Enough? that encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery.
But when I went back to the store the following week to buy the set, it was gone. I thought nothing more about it until Christmas morning, when I was opening presents with my family. My mother had gotten a gift of that very sugar bowl and creamer from my dad. Turns out she had sent him to the shop I’d told them about—to get it for her. Then to top it off, she used the silver set to upstage me at a pre-wedding party. In the South it is customary before the wedding to have a tea and set up a table
believe in herself enough to find a job. Joelle drinks every day. Shelly was just released from the hospital after her boyfriend broke her arm. Self-sabotaging behavior is not a lack of talent or skill; it is an internal struggle within you. You clearly want to do something, but your internal messages say you cannot or should not. For example, Joelle, above, knows she needs to stay with AA and work on her drinking, but she gets discouraged and drinks anyway. Shelly knows she needs to get out
being too needy as my dependency kicks in.” Although we have seen the distinct patterns of the codependent and the dependent adult daughter, it is important to understand that you can switch back and forth between these two relationship dynamics depending on where you are emotionally at the time. You can do this within one relationship; you can also become one or the other with different men. Although this sounds confusing, it is best understood this way: The daughter of a narcissistic mother
offered in this chapter, you are further along in answering the important questions we started with: What do I value most? What makes me happy? What gives me the deepest sense of fulfillment? What are my passions and talents? You have learned to strengthen your internal mother in order to build your self-confidence and to become more self-reliant. You now know how to deal with “the collapse” and get beyond these setbacks. I hope you are feeling more positive about yourself and can
with it.” Your mother says: “I brought you some diet pills, honey, because I’ve noticed you’ve put on a few pounds lately. I did a lot of research and these are the best I could find.” You say: “Mom, if I decide that my weight is a problem, I will address this issue with my doctor.” Your mother says: “Every time I see my granddaughter, her hair looks like a damn rat’s nest. When you were a child, I never let you go out of the house without grooming you properly. Don’t you care about