How Not to Act Old: 185 Ways to Pass for Phat, Sick, Hot, Dope, Awesome, or at Least Not Totally Lame
Pamela Redmond Satran
Language: English
Pages: 100
ISBN: B00FBBSUE6
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
How to be cool when you're afraid you've forgotten how . . .
Sure, you can try to stay younger by exercising, coloring your hair, and wearing stylish clothes—but how do you respond when someone asks, "Do you Twitter?" How Not to Act Old gives you simple ways to come back from over the hill and to act as young as you look.
Covering everything from old-people entertainment (cancel that dinner party!) to old-people communication (it's called a "voice mail," not a "message," and no one leaves or listens to them anyway), Pamela Redmond Satran decodes the behaviors, viewpoints, and cultural touchstones that separate you from the hip young person you wish you still were. This irreverent guide is essential for anyone who doesn't want to embarrass their kids—or themselves.
Formal Portraits. Is your official Facebook picture the one your company’s HR department keeps on file? Is it the headshot from your book jacket, or maybe your official wedding picture? Oops, sorry, using any kind of posed, professional picture as your main Facebook photo is old. Your Facebook picture should be slightly tilted, somewhat blurry, and should feature you smiling but not like you think anyone’s watching, designed to make the rest of the world envious of how totally awesome life can
has dozens of apps you can send around to your friends, to give them a little love today or help save the planet. These are infinitely dorky and annoying. #87 Don’t Be Insulted If—When—Your Kids Defriend You. Now that the old are flocking to Facebook, the young are looking for another community, one with stronger gates. Until they defect en masse, recognize that ignoring your friend request or actively defriending you (you won’t get a notice—you just won’t be allowed onto their pages anymore) is
See Him or Her Again. But don’t feel guilty about it, either. If you’re traveling with your spouse and end up having sex with a stranger, you should of course feel guilty. But way not to act old, dude or dudette! You and John Edwards should totally get together. When You’re Back Home: #124 Don’t Claim That Now You Need Another Vacation. That’s not just old, it’s obnoxious! #125 Don’t Live in a Big House and Complain about Money We get it that maybe you bought your house a couple of booms ago
hundred of my loved ones contributed wonderful title ideas, though I ended up doing, as usual, what I wanted to do from the beginning. I’d like to especially thank the fabulous photographer Alexa Garbarino, who helped me figure out what this book might look like; Christina Baker Kline, who loved it from the beginning; Dorothea Benton Frank, who sent it to so many people it found its way to Meg Cabot; Meg Cabot, who blogged about it, sending thousands of her fans my way, and then blurbed it;
the brownies. #30 Don’t Get Too Excited about Mondays Hello, my name is Pam, and I am a Monday Lover. It’s not that I don’t like weekends, exactly. But on the weekends I spend a lot of time doing all those household chores—laundry, grocery shopping, weeding—I don’t have time to do during the week. My husband and kids are around, wanting to be cooked for, driven around, and sometimes even communed with. And then on Monday morning, they all leave. I’m alone, free to work without distraction or