Faker's Guide to the Classics: Everything You Need To Know About The Books You Should Have Read (But Didn'T)

Faker's Guide to the Classics: Everything You Need To Know About The Books You Should Have Read (But Didn'T)

Michelle Witte

Language: English

Pages: 288

ISBN: 0762785403

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


From Anna Karenina and Beowulf  to Ulysses and Wuthering Heights, The Faker's Guide to the Classics condenses the great (but long and complicated) novels, plays, and poems of world lit into bite-size nuggets, cutting out the bloated analysis and nauseating debate of other reading guides. Each of the 100 books profiled is a classic that everyone knows but only hardcore lit majors have actually read. Now you, too, can: Blather about books you were supposed to read for class but didn't; fudge literary discussions at fancy parties; impress a date with your knowledge and wit; and slice through the ivory tower to read like a ninja. Each entry contains: a quick and dirty narrative description of plot, including twists and surprise endings, told with humorous brevity; famous quotes accompanied by smartass responses; and the original cover or an illustration conveying the work's tone (or lack thereof). Brief author bios--including misdeeds and scandals--add illuminating and occasionally disgusting background to each work. All of the text appears in simple, contemporary English, so it's easy to understand and short enough to tweet. With this must-have guide, never worry again whether a reference to Miss Havisham is an insult or wonder what happened to Moby-Dick. Not reading the classics has never been easier!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

when they’re about to break through—the abbé dies. Which bites the dust, even though the old guy found a kind of freedom. OK, not really. Dantès isn’t stupid—especially after all that learning—so he hides the abbé’s body and sews himself up into the burial sack when the guards come to heave-ho the stiff into the ocean. Now that Dantès is loose, he sets his sights on Revenge Central. He’s had fourteen years to devise punishments for his betrayers. Pull up a chair because this is where things

and says nothing doing. How much does she owe him? Oh, just … $10,000. The frak? To escape all that drama, she takes off on a last-minute Mediterranean cruise with Mr. and Mrs. Dorset, plus a young Mr. Ned Silverton. But it turns out she only got an invite so she could distract the Mr. while the Mrs. got it on with Silverboy. Awkward. It gets even worse when Lily gets all buddy buddy with some European nobility, because jealous Mrs. Dorset is really jealous now. She boots Lily off the boat and

because he had nothing left after renouncing his title. Aaaaand then he’s arrested again on new charges. The accuser? Doctor Manette! Actually, it was a letter that Manette wrote—describing why he took an all-expenses paid trip to the Bastille Resort and Spa—that Defarge found in the tower. Some nobleman saw a pretty girl he wanted to poke. Her hubby wasn’t so much into the sharing, so the nobleman had him killed and then violently raped the girl. Ah, Paris, the city of lovers. Her younger

thinking of doing for decades. He died a few days later. Huh. Is that like passing some kind of test, so he got a direct flight to heaven? I wouldn’t mind a layover, just so long as the airline doesn’t lose my luggage. So annoying. The Awakening by Kate Chopin Published: 1899 Category: novella Banned for: immorality, sex, violence, and faulty lifeguarding. “I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give my life for my children; but I wouldn’t give myself.” How about a

totally ransack his trunk and take important-looking papers. Those are always valuable. (Even when they only offer 25 percent off at the Burger King. There’s a crown on it, so it must be special.) Right before the bad guys bust into the inn, they grab a log book and a map. Looks promising. Jim, naive young lad that he is, takes the map to some guys he knows. They’ve had themselves some edumacation, so they’ll know about stuff like this. Because that’s where you learn about seafaring—in a drafty

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