Breaking Out of the "Man Box": The Next Generation of Manhood
Language: English
Pages: 176
ISBN: 1634506464
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Tony Porter works closely with the NFL, the NBA, the MLB, the US military, colleges, universities, and numerous other organizations to prevent violence against women and girls by promoting healthy, respectful manhood. Now, in Breaking Out of the “Man Box” Porter’s message is directed at all men.
This book tackles the collective socialization of manhood and provides an in-depth look at the experiences of boys and men. In an effort to understand the many aspects of “what it means to be a man,” Porter suggests the topic is worthy of being rethought, challenged, and even redefined. This book will help men—fathers, husbands, brothers, coworkers, etc.—unpack and correct those realities.
Breaking Out of the “Man Box” boldly exposes the connection between male socialization and the quest to end violence against women and girls. Porter provides an honest and transformative experience, empowering men to create a world where men and boys are loving and respectful—and a human race where women and girls are valued and safe. On the heels of national movements and initiatives such as the NFL’s NoMore.org, this book provides men with the knowledge and understanding to explore how to create that world.
officers. May I help you?” At that moment, as angry as he may have been, he was able to manage his anger just fine. So, it was not in any way about an inability to control himself or his temper. It was about him being the boss, in control, and demonstrating that power any way he chose. When there is a consequence, men almost always manage their anger. Even when a man is drinking and intoxicated and he’s abusive with his intimate partner, when the police show up, he’s still intoxicated, but
show our boys that it’s okay to not be dominating. That it’s okay to have feelings and emotions. That it’s okay to promote equality. That it’s okay to have a woman who you are just friends with and that’s it. That it’s okay to be a whole person. That our liberation as men is tied to their liberation as women. So as you read this book, I invite you to examine your own role as a well-meaning man in our society. Likewise, I encourage you to challenge other well-meaning men to join you. Together, we
not telling our boys to stop crying, talking about being sad when we’re sad, having women as friends, those types of things. Understand that homophobia and heterosexism is the glue, the duct tape that holds the man box together. Acknowledgments I would like to express my gratitude to every individual who has trusted me enough to share their personal experiences. Also, to those who believed in this book and supported me, I also say thank you. Your insight and wisdom helped to make this journey
done something to help Sheila—I should have maybe helped her up, gotten her dressed, or walked her out. None of my friends would have tried to stop me. I could have even told them that this behavior must stop or maybe influenced them to stop. Instead, I did nothing. When I think back on this time in my life, I recall that I did feel bad for Sheila. The problem is that I never felt responsible for what did or did not happen to her in my presence. Neither was anyone holding me accountable for not
standing up to my friends. I stayed true to the collective socialization of manhood, which assured my innocence as long as I did not participate in the deplorable behavior. I still thought I was a “good” guy, and so did everyone else as far as I could tell. However, how could I be totally blameless when I tolerated this behavior from my friends? I am sorry to say that I was a part of a brotherhood of men and boys, connected in a way that allowed its members to get away with inappropriate and