The Time Machine Did It

The Time Machine Did It

John Swartzwelder

Language: English

Pages: 144

ISBN: 0975579908

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Humor/mystery novel by the writer of 59 episodes of The Simpsons.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER ONE Frank Burly is my name. Okay, it’s not my name. I lied about that. My name is Edward R. Torgeson Jr. I changed it for the business. You’ve got to have a tough sounding name if you want people to hire you as a private detective out of a phone book. I chose one that would give prospective clients the idea that I was a burly kind of man, the kind of man who would have the strength and endurance to solve their cases for them, and who would be frank with them at all times. Hence the name.

advertisements to increase my business. Two prospective clients walked in the door within the first 45 minutes. The first one came in hesitantly, as if hiring a detective was not an everyday experience for him, like he was afraid he might get hurt somehow. I was anxious to make him feel comfortable. I slicked back my hair and invited him to sit. Sit, by all means. Sit all he wants. “Your name Burly?” he asked. “Sort of”. He sat down and told me his story. There had been a burglary at his home

machine shimmered into existence next to the elevator. It looked like it had started out life as a particularly large and menacing phone booth. But now it had a flashing red light on top of it and many guns sticking out of its gunports. It said “Time Machine - Mark VI” on it. I found out later that Sgt. Dodge had gotten tired of only being able to pursue me when I happened to be in the year 2003. He had grabbed Professor Groggins and forced him to quickly slap together another time machine. One

the next guy, but this whole topic was starting to bore me. “I don’t feel any different. What do I care about the paperwork? Anyway, I wrecked a lot more important stuff than my I.D. cards. Remind me to tell you about Ford’s Theater.” Before I hung up I asked him to explain something that was puzzling me. Why was it that, after the past had been altered, we both still kind of remembered what it had been like before? Scientifically, how did that work? Groggins confidently started to explain this

during the robbery I also lost an item of enormous sentimental value to me. That is what I want you to find.” He handed me a picture of a figurine about twelve inches high of Justice Holding The Scales: that statuey-looking thing you see when you’re watching one of those courtroom dramas on TV. The figurine didn’t look very valuable to me. I guess he could see that in my face, and hear it in the raspberry I blew. “It has no monetary value, as you have guessed,” he said “but it was my family’s

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