The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes
E. Henry Thripshaw
Language: English
Pages: 431
ISBN: B017OKVERQ
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
More than 3,000 off-color jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability. This book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking than anything you’ve ever heard.
“Dad, dad, what will I be called?” “Son, you will be called Thrush.” “Why is that, dad?” he asks excitedly. “Because, my son, you are an irritating cunt.” Tonto and the Lone Ranger are walking through the prairie. The Lone Ranger asks Tonto how much he knows about the prairie and the nature surrounding them. Tonto suddenly drops the foor, puts his ear to the ground and says, “Buffalo come.” The Lone Ranger is amazed. He says, “Are you so knowledgeable in this world that you can hear the
your cross.” “Okay,” says the seconds nun. So she winds the window down, leans out and shouts, “Fuck off!” A nun went to see her mother superior. “What troubles you, sister?” asked the mother superior. “I thought this was the day you liked to spend with your family.” “It was,” sighed the sister. “I went to play a round of golf with my brother. As you may recall, I was a very keen golfer before I gave my life to Christ.” “I do recall that,” agreed mother superior. “So how did your day of
don’t you go and clean yourself up then?” “I’m not finished yet.” How do tramps connect wirelessly? Brown tooth. Two tramps were walking along the railway track one day when one tramp said to the other, “I’m the luckiest man in the world.” “How’s that?” asked the other tramp. “Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20 note. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was pissed for three days.” The other tramp said, “Not bad, but I think I’m the luckiest man in
replies, “Lord of Heaven and earth, what can I do to help you?” “Buy a ticket, motherfucker.” How do you know if a family of Jews are living next door? There’s wet toilet paper on their clothes line. A Jewish guy is run over by a car. The paramedic arrives and says, “Are you comfortable?” He replies, “I make a good living.” Once upon a time long ago the mighty Emperor of Japan advertised for a new chief samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a
is making you so ill, what is it?” “It’s that bloke behind you, pal. He keeps dipping his Doritos in your back.” Why was the leper unable to speak? The cat got his tongue. Why do lepers make such good neighbours? They’re always willing to lend a hand. What’s a leper’s favourite chocolate bar? Flake. What’s small, green and falls apart? A leprechaun. How do you know if a leper has been using your shower? The bar of soap is bigger. LESBIANS What is the defnition of