Monstrous Regiment (Discworld)
Terry Pratchett
Language: English
Pages: 416
ISBN: 0060013168
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
War has come to Discworld ... again.
And, to no one's great surprise, the conflict centers around the small, arrogantly fundamentalist duchy of Borogravia, which has long prided itself on its unrelenting aggressiveness. A year ago, Polly Perks's brother marched off to battle, and Polly's willing to resort to drastic measures to find him. So she cuts off her hair, dons masculine garb, and -- aided by a well-placed pair of socks -- sets out to join this man's army. Since a nation in such dire need of cannon fodder can't afford to be too picky, Polly is eagerly welcomed into the fighting fold—along with a vampire, a troll, an Igor, a religious fanatic, and two uncommonly close "friends." It would appear that Polly "Ozzer" Perks isn't the only grunt with a secret. But duty calls, the battlefield beckons. And now is the time for all good ... er ... "men" to come to the aid of their country.
most of it staring at the floor, and then Tonker came back. ‘We will need the bags of flour from the storeroom, and the rope from the well,’ she said. ‘And one of those . . . what are those big round things that cover dishes? With a knob on?’ ‘Dish covers?’ said Shufti. ‘And a candle,’ Tonker went on. ‘And a lot of barrels. And a lot of water.’ ‘And what will all this do?’ said Blouse. ‘Make a big bang,’ said Tonker. ‘Tilda knows a lot about fire, believe me.’ ‘When you say she knows a lot
there’s a good chap, and keep the war going until we get there. And have you finished this strange charade, sergeant?’ he added, as the last of the officers left. ‘All but one last thing, sir,’ said Jackrum, and stamped over to the guards. They were at attention already, but nevertheless contrived to become more attentive. ‘You lads go outside this door,’ said the sergeant. ‘No one is to come close, understand. And I know you boys won’t try to eavesdrop, because of what’d happen to you if I ever
rather, er, direct in these matters, but amazingly popular. Ahem. You see, the curious thing is that although Ankh-Morpork is probably the biggest bully around, in a subtle kind of way, we nevertheless have a soft spot for people who stand up to bullies. Especially royal ones. We tend to be on their side, provided it doesn’t cost us too much.’ Blouse cleared his throat. ‘It’s quite a good likeness of you, Perks,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I only used my knee, sir!’ Polly protested. ‘And that fat lady
if you had to?’ Polly came right back to the here and now. ‘What sort of question is that to ask anyone?’ ‘I think it’s the sort you’d ask a tholdier,’ said Igorina. ‘I don’t know. If they were attacking me, I suppose. Hurt them hard enough to keep them lying down, anyway. And you?’ ‘We have a great respect for life, Polly,’ said Igorina solemnly. ‘It’s easy to kill thomeone, and almost impossible to bring them back again.’ ‘Almost?’ ‘Well, if you don’t have a really good lightning rod. And
Jackrum. ‘People don’t think fat men can fight. They think fat men are funny. They think wrong. Gave ’im a chop to the windpipe.’ ‘Sarge!’ said Shufti, horrified. ‘What? What? He was coming at me with his club!’ said Jackrum. ‘Why was he doing that, sarge?’ said Polly. ‘Ooh, you cunning soldier, you,’ said Jackrum. ‘All right, I grant you that I’d just given madarm the ol’ quietus, but to be fair I know when someone’s just handed me a bleedin’ drink full o’ sleepy drops.’ ‘You hit a woman,