In Faith and In Doubt: How Religious Believers and Nonbelievers Can Create Strong Marriages and Loving Families
Dale McGowan
Language: English
Pages: 288
ISBN: 0814433723
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
The claim is often made that interfaith marriages fail more often than same-faith partnerships. So what are the chances of survival for the ultimate mixed marriage - one between religious and nonreligious partners? Nearly 20 percent of Americans now self-identify as nonreligious, including millions who are married to religious believers. Despite the differences, many of these marriages succeed beautifully. In this landmark book, popular author and secular humanist Dale McGowan explores some of the stories of these unions, whose very endurance flies in the face of conventional wisdom, including his own marriage to a believing Christian. Drawing on sociology, psychology, and real-life experience, he shares: negotiation tips that set the stage for harmonious relationships; strategies for dealing with pressure from extended family; profiles of families who have successfully blended different world views; insights for helping kids make their own choices about religious identity; and advice for handling holidays, churchgoing, baptism, circumcision, religious literacy, and more. The first book of its kind, In Faith and In Doubt helps partners navigate the complexities of their situation while celebrating the extraordinary richness it affords their relationship, their children, and those around them.
everything hinged on those assumptions—whether Jesus was who he said he was and whether the Bible was what I believed it to be.” For the next few weeks, David explored his doubts intensely. “I spent every available minute listening to debates and reading, trying to find satisfactory answers to my questions. I was seeing more and more how the Gospel didn’t measure up to rigorous questioning, and the answers from the Christian community were only believable if you presupposed the inspiration of
to Evan like a line was being crossed in that direction—that faith was becoming a wedge between them. “We did talk about the new tension that developed between us after the retreat,” Evan recalls. Cate also began thinking more directly about her actual beliefs. “During one of our conversations, she mentioned how the priest said everyone was a sinner. This did not sit well with her because she doesn’t see herself that way. She also didn’t like the Catholic Church’s stance on gay marriage or birth
And we cut out a lot of the overly religious tones so it could be both of ours.” “I honestly don’t remember how much religious content was left in,” says Tom. See Tom and Danielle, Chapter 5 After a quick look at their wedding video—and it was quick, about 20 minutes in all—I could see for myself how much care and flexibility had gone into it. Take the music, for example—the same “Air on the G String” (secular) that had been my wife’s processional was the attendants’ processional this time,
but he that loves him disciplines him promptly.” Influential Christian parenting author James Dobson is one of several voices on the Religious Right who encourages spanking. “Spanking should be of sufficient magnitude to cause genuine tears,” he writes in The New Dare to Discipline. He recommends using paddles to hit children as young as 18 months old and calls pain “a marvelous purifier.”29 See Hope and David, Chapter 7 Even though much of the support for corporal punishment comes from
opposition to religion and tell them these things are wrong because I don’t want it to become something that we fight about as they grow older.” Recently, her six-year-old son came back from Dad’s house and said something that broke her heart. “He said, ‘Every day when I’m with Papa I pray for you that you will believe in God so that you don’t have to die.’ This was the most heartbreaking moment of my life, seeing the pain and worry that my lack of belief is causing him. I had no idea how to