I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell
Tucker Max
Language: English
Pages: 368
ISBN: 0806532254
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
“My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole." With these words Tucker Max launched a classic humor bestseller that has sold more than two million copies in the US and hundreds of thousands more throughout the world. I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL was on The New York Times bestseller list for five years including the #1 position.
The new edition, released in September 2015, includes a new 6-page Afterword that will delight Tucker's fans. In it he describes his life in the 10 years since the book was first published, including his marriage and becoming a dad. His anecdotes are, as always, funny and revealing, told in the unique voice that millions of readers have come to love.
Actual reader feedback:
"I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you. Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer?"
"Thank you, thank you, thank you--for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option; I too can say 'screw the system' and be myself and have fun. My life truly began when I finished reading your stories. Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, 'What Would Tucker Do?'--and I do it, and I am a better man for it."
"I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist."
"I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."
"You are the coolest person I can even imagine existing. If you slept with my girlfriend, it'd make me love her more."
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I'm assuming they saw the train wreck coming, and didn't want to be anywhere near when it hit. Smart decision. My car was still at the firm, so Betty offers to give me a ride to the office to get it. I accept, and then another summer, Brian, invites himself along, "Oh, I need a ride to the office too." I didn't really understand why at the time, but Betty gave him a mean look, but agreed to take him along. [Side note: The only reason I can tell you this next part is because truth is an absolute
this. Maybe then I'll find out how she got home. 146 THIS'LL JUST HURT A LITTLE Occurred-July 1998 Written-March 2005 Look, I know how bad some of these stories are. I know that in return for my youthful behavior, fate will give me five daughters and make them all vicious sluts who sleep with guys like me and then throw it in my face. I know that in any cosmically just afterlife, I deserve to have all order of awful punishments waiting for me, but in the corporeal interim one girl
that perhaps the best thing to do right now is to go with what feels natural, and not worry about other painful things in her life. As proof that I am doing this, I tell her that my friends are shipping to Iraq soon, but I'm still at a party hooking up with her. Married Girl agrees with this logic. 1:06: Married Girl and I are hooking up. Clothes come off. 1:12: Married Girl breaks into tears. Again. "I don't know; I ... I ... I 180 just can't do this. I'm not like this." 1:13: I get
could hear the screaming and have reason to believe there is criminal activity going on here." The naked deaf girl in my bedroom was all it took to send the cops out of my apartment in tears from laughing so hard. The Chili Pepper Hook-up Incident Where and how I met this girl is not important. Why I hooked up with her, and what happened the next morning is not even worthy of a story. What she looks like is immaterial (if you care, she looks a lot like the red-head daughter in Six Feet