How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack

How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters: Fight Back When Monsters and Mother Nature Attack

Andrew Shaffer

Language: English

Pages: 224

ISBN: 0553418130

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Sharks Are Flying at Your Head at 300 mph.
How Will You Survive?
 
In the apocalyptic world we live in, Mother Nature is angry. Danger waits at every turn, and catastrophes like the Los Angeles sharknados have taught us that we need to be ready for anything. Too many lives have already been lost.
 
But fear not. How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters is the first and only comprehensive guide to surviving the very worst that Mother Nature can throw our way. Inside this life-saving reference, you'll find:

  • Vital information about dozens of unnatural disasters and ungodly monsters that can injure, maim, or kill you, from arachnoquakes and ice twisters to piranhacondas and mega pythons; 
  • Easy-to-understand survival tips for avoiding a bloody demise; 
  • Inspirational words of wisdom from survivors, including Fin Shepard and April Wexler; 
  • Useful resources, such as the Shepard Survival Assessment Test (S.S.A.T), and much more. 

With this essential book in hand, you too can be a hero who laughs in the face of calamity while saving friends and family. Or you can just avoid getting savagely ripped apart by a sharktopus. Either way, you've been warned. Now be prepared.

As seen in the Syfy original TV movie, Sharknado 2: The Second One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Basel, Switzerland, at all costs. The basilisk is the town’s heraldic animal. Thirty-odd statues appear around town—possibly ready to come to life at any moment, given the right astronomical conditions. WEIRD SCIENCE Being turned to stone by a basilisk is nothing like being frozen in carbonite. When a basilisk stares into your eyes, your skin and organs transform into a mixture of limonite and silicate. If someone attempted “chipping you out” of the stone, they would eventually reach bone.

“Crazy Conspiracy”), you might want to postpone your spring break vacation to the Middle East. CRAZY CONSPIRACY Whereas myths say the manticore has the face of a human with three rows of dagger-like teeth, this new creature’s face was clearly lion-like. Skeptics say this is because the manticore was an escaped lion from the Baghdad Zoo. The leaked documents? A hoax. Others believe the manticore was a living weapon of mass destruction created by Saddam Hussein’s genetic engineers. How to Treat

pinch. Aim for the head. Although they don’t have eyes, you can tell what end to shoot at by looking for the snapping, pointed teeth. NOTE: Because their skin secretes toxic fluids, shoot them from at least twenty feet away to prevent their guts spraying on you after a kill shot. For obvious reasons, axes, chainsaws, and broadswords are not recommended. •  Dial the braggadocio down a notch. Even after you’ve killed one, don’t pause to take a selfie in front of it. The death worm is probably

symptoms. While the last antdemic did not spread from person to person, the next might. Even if it doesn’t, people infected with an antdemic flu strain are kind of a pain to deal with (see the “Antdemic Flu Symptoms”). •  Wash your hands frequently with soap and water to kill germs. Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth. Don’t let anyone else touch those areas either. What kind of weirdo would want to touch someone else’s eyeball, anyway? Antdemic Flu Symptoms • Red, swollen marks where a

ALSO KNOWN AS: Killer Kraken • FIRST OBSERVED: London, England (2010) • EST. MAX. SPEED: 30 mph • HIGH-RISK GROUPS: Fishermen, Whales, Fishermen From Wales • LOOK OUT FOR IT IN: Saltwater • THREAT TO HUMANITY: • RISK OF ENCOUNTER: • FIN’S WTF FACTOR: FOR CENTURIES, GIANT SQUID HAVE TERRORIZED FISHERMEN off the coasts of Norway and Greenland. Now they (the squid, not the fishermen) are coming for the rest of us. The legends didn’t exaggerate the creature’s gargantuan size—fifty feet from the

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