Happyslapped By a Jellyfish: The Words of Karl Pilkinton
Karl Pilkington
Language: English
Pages: 112
ISBN: 2:00098627
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
A collection of hilarious and compelling insights and anecdotes, diary entries, poems, 'true' facts and cartoons on travel from Karl Pilkington, unlikely star of the Ricky Gervais Show, the world's most successful podcast - now in paperback. This is the travel book for people who don't particularly like travelling, it's Karl Pilkington, star of The Ricky Gervais Podcast Show, with a suitcase, occasionally with his passport, more often with a bemused suspicion of anything vaguely exotic, and an observant eye for the disappointments, tedium, general weirdness and absurdities of being a tourist abroad and at home.From staring at Mount Vesuvius in case it erupts and the horrors of a Lanzarote nudist beach to the curiosities to be seen in the world's weirdest museum. Told with his inimitable deadpan humour, Pilkington's stories are interspersed with fond reflections on life back in England, from Salford joy riders to what his girlfriend's mum and dad have for dinner on a Thursday (it's chops and veg. in case you're wondering).
Ronny worked in the hotel bar and played all the classics, like “Sweet Caroline” and “I Just Called to Say I love You”. He had jet-black hair that I’m sure was a wig. It’s the back of a wig that always gives it away, and seeing as he was usually sat at the organ, that was the bit you saw the most. I’m good at spotting a wig. When I first went round to Suzanne’s mam and dad’s, I nipped out to the off-licence to get myself a Walnut Whip and spotted that the fella who runs the place wore a wig. I
hours. I swear that one morning the people in the next room got up for breakfast when it was still dark. This meant the other guests were out early and we could never get a chair by the pool, so we always ended up having to sit in the garden bit where all the wasps knocked about. I’d get my own back around 2 p.m. though, cos they’d all go indoors and sit in the lounge and nod off in the big high-backed chairs, and we’d have a game of pool. You should have seen them jump in their chairs as the
for fossils. Apparently a lot of dinosaurs died round here. There were signs on the beach asking people not to take the pebbles as some of them are between 60 and 150 million years old. Pebbles all look the same age to me. They’re like pigeons. We had our tea in the restaurant downstairs. We thought the food and service were gonna be bad cos the fella on the next table seemed to be sighing all the time. Turned out he had a breathing problem. The food was good. July 12th Slept well but was
of posh food. It annoys me a bit how people like squirrels but not rats. At the end of the day they’re the same thing, except that squirrels have had a better upbringing. I’ve noticed a big change in the squirrels in our local park. They’re getting really fat cos people keep feeding them Mars bars and biscuits, and all the sugar they eat is making them more aggressive. If you give them an acorn, they now turn their nose up at it. Every type of creature is changing its diet. I once caught some
their head on drink – I mean they didn’t have any legs. They got around on skateboards, which made me wonder why they decided to live in San Francisco, cos it’s not ideal for them. Not with all those hilly streets about. One night we were in the flat watching telly, trying to ignore Brian looking through the window, when we saw our street on the news – one of the legless homeless had been shot by a policeman. The copper was saying how he thought the homeless fella had a shotgun. Turned out it was