Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser: Long Interviews with Hideous Men
Clarisse Thorn
Language: English
Pages: 322
ISBN: 1475098685
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
There's an enormous subculture of men who trade tips, tricks, and tactics for seducing women. Within the last half-decade or so, these underground "pickup artists" have burst into the popular consciousness, aided by Neil Strauss’s bestselling book The Game and VH1’s hit reality show The Pick-Up Artist. Some men in the seduction community are sleazy misogynists who want nothing more than power and control. Some are shy wallflowers who don't know how to say hi to a girl. The one thing they all have in common is a driving need to attract women.
Clarisse Thorn, a feminist S&M writer and activist, spent years researching these guys. She observed their discussions, watched them in action, and learned their strategies. By the end of it all, she'd given a lecture at a seduction convention and decided against becoming the next great dating coach. In Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser, Clarisse tells the story of her time among these Casanovas, as well as her own unorthodox experiences with sex and relationships. She examines the conflicts and harmonies of feminism, pickup artistry, and the S&M community. Most of all, she deconstructs and reconstructs our views on sex, love, and ethics — and develops her own grand theory of the game.
Find Clarisse's blog at clarissethorn.com, or follow her on Twitter @ClarisseThorn.
"as sweet a person as I've ever known and as tormented a person as I've ever known." Anyone who thinks men can't be sensitive and emotional needs to read Wallace's work.) So, yes, ethics can be painful. I think it's important to acknowledge that. It doesn't make ethics any less crucial, though. Now that's established, here's one idea that I like from the blogger Hugh Ristik: many pickup tactics seem more ethical as long as they work on both parties. For example, time dilation — where you
"Am I gonna need to get you a map and a flashlight so you can find your dick already?") some switch in his brain will flip and he will go from thinking of you as abstractly fuckable ("I WOULD hit it…") to an actual prospect ("I COULD hit it…") If you're any good at people, you can sometimes identify the exact second when this happens… Which is cool. Sometimes, particularly if a dude is used to being able to get sex, this switch will flip before you ever even open your mouth. Other times, you can
me. I said, "I'd rather not have sex tonight…" and then I faltered, overwhelmed by anxiety. I added awkwardly, "I don't know, I can't explain it…." "It's okay," he said in a completely friendly, no-nonsense way. "You don't have to explain it. Of course I don't want to do anything you don't want to do." He didn't move away, kept his hands on me, maintained intimacy while respecting my boundaries. I was stunned at the flood of relief that went through me just because he hadn't acted put out. I
S&M identity when I was 20. Coming to terms with S&M was really hard for me, and the process was kick-started by a guy who picked me up at a party. He hurt me a lot; he had me beg for mercy. It was awesome, and it completely confused me. On the surface, my masochistic desires seemed completely at odds with being an independent, rational, feminist woman with self-esteem and integrity. But I instinctively recognized S&M as something I needed in my life. I knew that S&M is deeply and irrevocably
and this way I could watch James in action. "Okay," I said. "Let's go to Porn & Chicken. Sounds like fun." * * * One of my most entertaining moments with James in the next month was when he went out drinking with me and three of my sex worker friends. (Two were escorts, and one a professional dominatrix.) He spent much of the night explaining what it meant to be a PUA coach. My friends were fascinated. "Whoa," one of them said. "You're totally stealing our clients! If you weren't