Borgon the Axeboy and the Dangerous Breakfast
Philip Reeve, Kjartan Poskitt
Language: English
Pages: 36
ISBN: 0571307337
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Urgum is a little savage who lives life as DANGEROUSLY as possible. He doesn't just have cornflakes for breakfast (not least because they haven't been invented yet) - he finds a dragon to flame his toast for him! Raaaa!
If only annoying neighbour Grizzie didn't follow him around everywhere - savages are much more civilised than barbarians...
early morning in the Lost Desert. The vultures were snoozing in their nests, the scorpions were tucked up in their rock holes and even the rattlesnakes hadn’t started to rattle. They were curled up underneath the cactuses, having lovely dreams about biting big animals and watching them fall over and die. The sunlight broke over the mountains, and lit up a dusty patch of ground known as Golgarth Basin. The basin was surrounded by dark caves where all the different savages lived, and some strange
mallet, a steel net, his axe and a whole bag of extra bits. ‘Don’t do this, Borgon!’ pleaded Fulgut. ‘Your mum will go mad if she finds out I told you about that breakfast.’ ‘Then don’t tell her,’ said Borgon. ‘Besides, I want it to be a nice surprise for her.’ ‘But you could end up DEAD,’ said Fulgut. ‘What do I say to her then?’ ‘That’s your problem!’ laughed Borgon. ‘Because if I’m dead I won’t be here, will I? I’ll be in heaven with all the barbarian gods and Uncle Jing. YARGHHHH!’
‘GRRRR!’ growled Borgon and he waved his axe. Grizzy just pulled a face and giggled. Borgon stamped his foot crossly. Grizzy never treated him with any respect. It wasn’t right. Grizzy was supposed to be scared of him! After all, he wasn’t just a normal boring savage like she was. He was a barbarian. ‘HEY, EVERYBODY!’ shouted Grizzy. ‘Borgon’s forgotten how to get on a horse. Ha ha ha!’ By this time two other savages had come out to see what was going on, but if Grizzy thought they were
‘Oh, give up, Grizzy!’ said Borgon. ‘The Best Barbarian Breakfast Ever won’t be in your silly little book.’ ‘Why not?’ said Grizzy. ‘Because it’s far too dangerous,’ said Borgon. ‘My dad even tried to stop me making it. Now be quiet.’ Everything went silent again. ‘Ha ha ha!’ laughed Grizzy. ‘QUIET!’ whispered Borgon. ‘Oh, but you’ve got to hear this,’ said Grizzy. ‘Did you know there’s a recipe for dragon toenail custard?’ Borgon stomped over to Grizzy and pulled the book from her hands.
his head, then whacked it down into the crocodile tail as hard as he could. SPLUTCH! ‘Well done,’ laughed Fulgut. ‘An axe always turns a meal into a party.’ Borgon chewed away on a lump of tail. GOBBLE BLONCH SLOOP! ‘That’s it!’ said Fulgut. ‘Barbarians always eat loudly. It makes all the other savages jealous.’ ‘Don’t forget to burp …’ said Fulma. BURP! went Borgon. ‘… and wipe your hands on your hair.’ ‘Or better still,’ said Fulgut, ‘wipe your hands on somebody else’s hair! That’s