Bear With Me: What They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy and New Motherhood
Diane Flacks
Language: English
Pages: 161
ISBN: 0771047649
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Toronto comedy writer/performer Diane Flacks has written a frank and funny account of her pregnancy and the first months with her newborn. In the twenty-first century, it is hard to imagine that having a baby is still shrouded in secrecy and mythology. And yet many women go through their pregnancy with a sense of isolation and without an outlet to express their fears, doubts, and wonder. There is so much more to pregnancy than What to Expect When You’re Expecting. In Bear With Me, readers will discover the truth about pregnancy – poignantly and hilariously. It is important to know how Dr. Sears suggests you work a nasal aspirator, but how do you get through your thirtieth day of morning sickness without shooting someone?!
Diane Flacks, who has written for Kids in the Hall and appeared with the Royal Canadian Air Farce, is open about her own experiences: dealing with hormonal mood swings and a changing body image, sex with a burgeoning belly, what really happens in the labour room, and (horror of horrors) becoming your mom. Flacks is witty, urbane, and refreshingly honest. In Bear With Me readers will find a voice that welcomes, does not judge or hide, and will make you laugh out loud.
stampeded to the bathroom to pee. Appetite Many women describe a ravenous, sickening hunger – a desperate need to eat immediately. Like other pregnancy symptoms, it may remind you of the worst of your PMS. The drive to eat that Kit Kat in one bite is wildly intense, and not to be trifled with. If I didn’t eat every few hours, something with protein (or chocolate), I would feel like passing out and barfing. I succumbed to these urges. Besides not being able to fight them, I think there was
I was thirty-three when Janis really pressed the issue of one of us getting pregnant. Thirty-three is how old Christ was reported to be when he was crucified. I referred to thirty-three as my “bite me” year. I felt old enough, and professionally experienced enough, to respond to questions like, “Can you write us a few sketches for free and then we’ll decide if we want to hire you?” with, “Can you bite me?” The last thing I wanted was to sacrifice my hard-earned veteran status by taking myself
and when they will go into labour. One just has to focus, find a calm place, mentally go “inside” your mind, and ask. The answer will come. I came up with “girl” and “early.” By a day before my due date, the Braxton Hicks had eased and the cramps were less frequent, which was not making me happy, because I was hoping the previous week’s discomfort was building to labour. Instead, I got a reprieve. The baby’s head had dropped quite a bit, so I could finally breath. I slept more with less
five centimetres. In Ontario, midwives can handle all aspects of birth and newborn care. If there is need for a medical intervention (an epidural, an induction, a C-section), the midwife has to call in the obstetrician on duty to check you. The hospital staff performs the medical intervention, and after the procedure is done, the midwife regains control of her patient. In Quebec, if any intervention is required, the midwife must relinquish control and decision-making. The labouring woman becomes
vividly remembers getting numerous disapproving stares and clucks, mostly from women, at an upscale suburban mall called Bayview Village. Obviously, it doesn’t take that village to raise a child. They’d starve to death. Laura was told to “cover up” by some ass. Jackie, an otherwise unselfconscious new mom, timed her outings so she could nurse at home or in the car. Netty’s brother walked out of a room she was in, whining, “Do you have to do that in front of me?” I recently moderated a panel on