Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships
Ashley Stanford
Language: English
Pages: 288
ISBN: 1843107341
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
First published in 2002. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company.
the way to which their talents have directed them from childhood. Thus, the truth of the old adage is proved again: good and bad in every character are just two sides of the same coin. It is simply not possible to separate them, to opt for the positive and get rid of the negative. Asperger 1944, p.89 in Frith 1991 The coin analogy may prove to be a highly useful tool as you consider your partner’s AS condition. Much of the research is focused on the “negative” aspects of AS. It may take a keen
develop into a strong man. There hadn’t been any trauma in his childhood that would have caused the anomalies that I was seeing in him and in our relationship. I spent the next two years frustrated. I read nearly every marriage therapy book I could get my hands on, each of them proving a disappointment. I went into therapy only to walk away with a sense that both my husband and I were in a territory unfamiliar to the therapists. Everywhere I turned, the answer was the same: “This is odd.” During
ever did was to make a Daddy Book “for the kids” (it was really for my husband’s benefit). I took a few dozen photos of him with the kids and put them together in a little 20-page book with captions like: Daddy takes us to the movies; Daddy plays with us; Daddy puts us to bed at night; Daddy shows us how things work. He read the Daddy Book to the kids and they loved it but he showed only a mild interest in it. (What did I expect? A gushy “Oh how cute!” reaction from him? I don’t think so!) He
partner: researchers often cite that people with AS latch on to routines or patterns and have unusual difficulty breaking out of them (Aston 2001, pp.61–2). If a pattern such as anger, fighting, or even abuse becomes routinized, realize that your AS partner will need more extensive help than an NT would need in order to change the pattern. If you cover up the negative pattern, ignore it, or don’t force change, your AS partner may interpret your actions as approval of the behavior. For the issues
partner has olfactory sensitivities, then being aware of the sensitivity will help both of you identify problems before they get out of hand. Certain smells may set your partner off balance and you may not know why until you identify the root cause. For example: Last Monday, he [AS] came home from work and was an absolute bear. I questioned him extensively about work and nothing unusual had happened. I couldn’t figure out why he was being so ornery. He wasn’t sick, didn’t have a headache –