Adventures on the High Teas: In Search of Middle England

Adventures on the High Teas: In Search of Middle England

Stuart Maconie

Language: English

Pages: 346

ISBN: 0091926513

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Everyone talks about "Middle England." Sometimes they mean something bad, like a lynch mob of Daily Mail readers, and sometimes they mean something good, like a pint of ale in a sleepy Cotswold village in summer twilight. But just where and what is Middle England? Stuart Maconie didn't know either, so he packed his Thermos and sandwiches and set off to find out. Is Middle England about tradition and decency or closed minds and bigotry? Is it maypoles and evensong, or flooded market towns and binge drinkers in the park? And is Slough really as bad as Ricky Gervais and John Betjeman make out? From Shakespeare to JK Rowling, Vaughan Williams to Craig David, William Morris to B&Q, Stuart Maconie leads the expedition—with plenty of stop-offs for tea and scones—to discover the truth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a little apologetic. The town's websites and literature mention the fact that Margaret Thatcher, longest-serving prime minister of the twentieth century, was born here, but could hardly be said to shout it from the rooftops. They make much more of another local lad, Isaac Newton, in that there's a big, ugly shopping centre bearing his name and a statue in the town square. Maybe this is understandable, as even the most passionate and confirmed Thatcherite would concede that the three laws of

returning home to their wives, claiming shiftily they had a pot of tuna salad for lunch. If you are going to eat pork pies, then, they should be Melton Mowbray pork pies, on the grounds that forbidden pleasures should be of the finest quality. When speaking of the town rather than the pies, call it Melton. This will make you sound like a local. If you want to, of course. I learn this from a woman at the station taxi rank, information she manages to impart between her lung-sapping drags on

Ludlow's intricate maze of little streets is crammed with vans bringing delicious quirky things to be arranged alluringly in the windows of one of a hundred small shops. Tucked away though it may be, Ludlow has always had stuff on its plate in every sense of the phrase. It's been said that more has been written about Ludlow's history than any other English town. Ludlow has history like Burton has yeast. If you could make a tasty spread out of excess and leftover history, Ludlow could have a

in the town. They've always made real things here: wool and tweed at the nearby Bliss Mill rather than cream teas and souvenir doilies. The Crown and Cushion Hotel was once owned by Keith Moon, the 'hilarious' wild man drummer of The Who, much given to dressing as a Nazi and driving cars into swimming pools. Moon's influence, it is fair to say, does not pervade the old coaching inn today. The boy who greets us is painfully shy and diffident, blond and softly spoken, like the slow, childlike

beyond Denham golf club and Gerrards Cross to Beaconsfield, the 'clearing in the beeches'. There are Beaconsfields in Iowa and Nova Scotia, in Sydney and Melbourne, Perth and Queensland, and Beaconsfield Tasmania was once the richest gold town on that far-away island. But this is the very English Beaconsfield: prosperous, pleasant and frequently murderous, at least on telly. The high street is replete with the staples of Middle England: a Waitrose, a Lloyd's chemist and a Help the Aged with

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